No Skills With the Ladies
Dear Joe College,
Hi, I am a freshman in college and I have absolutly no skills with the ladies. I become a bumbling jackass when I talk to a hot girl. I dont know any pick-up lines or what to say. This has increased my jerk-off levels through the roof. What can I do to get a chick, or should I just keep jerking off? Thanks.
Dear Why You-
Wait, you can jerk-off through the roof? Like, through the ceiling and everything? And is this while youâ€™re on the first floor or the second floor? Because the first floor is way more impressive since youâ€™re going all the way through the roof. If this is true, why would you even waste your time trying to get girls? Why donâ€™t you use your talents for something positive, like a circus or the military?
But if you are trying to get girls, I do have one tip. Stop talking about how much you masturbate. Save that for the second date.
Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, â€œThe roof? Geez thatâ€™s powerful.â€
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Joe College may or may not be written by Steve Hofstetter.