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Halloween is Coming
Dear Joe College,
As you already know, Halloween is coming up soon and I was wondering if you had any costume ideas that you wouldn't mind sharing with me, because I am all out of ideas. Any input would be much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Travis
Travis,
Oh, what a wonderful question! Grammatically correct, spelled perfectly, and you’re actually seeking a useful piece of knowledge! Too bad I have no ideas at all.
I’m kidding, of course. Sort of. Well, I don’t have any ideas now, but I’m going to retreat to the Joe College Laboratory and come up with a few.
(Disappears for several minutes while theme to “Mannix†plays.)
I’ve got it! But first, was someone watching Mannix? Because that’s a strange thing to have been watching. Aaaaanyway...
The following are my favorite costume ideas (ripped from the headlines!), in no order other than ascending importance.
-The most popular costume this year will probably be Strong Bad. Wear boxing gloves, a Mexican wrestling mask, and answer emails in a much funnier way than I do.
-Since everyone always wipes the floor with you anyway, you can just go as a mop. (Oh, snap!)
-Try a dining hall attendant costume. This is best accomplished by asking everyone for their dining dollars.
-Go as a war protester. Don’t go to class for a week and then cause a lot of traffic (Joe College gets political!)
-If you don’t have any weapons of mass destruction, you can go as Iraq (Joe College stays political!)
-Go as the guy from Mannix. Make sure to look like you’re from the 60s, or people will just think you’re some guy shooting people.
-Or you can wear cat ears, angel wings, and carry a pitchfork and go as every freakin girl on your campus.
Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, "That laboratory kind of looks like my bathroom."
Got a question about an aspect of college life? Want to be made fun of? Then this is the place for you! Send all your college-related questions to joecollege@stevehofstetter.com.
Joe College may or may not be written by Steve Hofstetter.
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