See when Steve will be near you!




Ask Joe College

My New Sleeping Schedule

Dear Joe College,

I'm an incoming freshman at Indiana University. At said college, known as one of the nation's top 'party' schools, I have found it quite difficult to adapt to my new sleeping schedule. On Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights (when I have 8:00am classes the next morning), I usually get about 3-4 hours of sleep. The rest of the week, however, I often enjoy 12-15 hours of sleep per night.

Will this new pattern of hibernation have any long-term effects on my life?


Dear name that sounds way too close to “ass toot,”

Partying that much and sleeping at unhealthy times will certainly have an effect on your life. You will become popular, leading to more connections, a good job, and lots of money. As you can see, more beer and less sleep equals more money. Scientists call the Theory of Being Totally Awesome.

Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, “You should learn what incoming means before you use that word.”

Got a question about an aspect of college life? Want to be made fun of? Then this is the place for you! Send all your college-related questions to

Joe College may or may not be written by Steve Hofstetter.

More Joe College
*I Really Don't Care What This Guy Thinks
*Why can't people spell?
*Potential for the Threesome
*Cute Local Girls
*Some Bone on My Body
*I Don’t Turn 18 Until May
*Hot Tub Full of Half Naked People
*Get a Girlfriend
*Shaped Like a Wang
*Calm My Mom Down
*I'm in France
*My Fraternity was Kicked Off
*Small Amounts of Dynamite
*My New Sleeping Schedule
*The Middle of Nowhere
*90% Male
*I Gave Up Spanking
*Like an Idiot I Bought a TV
*Joining the Baseball Team
*Halloween is Coming
*Sounds Kind of Boring
*Every AIM User
*No Skills With the Ladies
*18 If I'm Lucky
*Stuck Up Chicks Suck
*I Need Some Serious Help
*Short and Sweet
*You Know Tom Perrotta
*High School Muck
*Ed Harris
*Head to Head