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Small Amounts of Dynamite

Joe College,

Recently me and my college buddies where drinking at a dorm on the opposite side of the campus. On the way back from my one of my friends girlfriends rooms, another Buddy and I decided to "relieve" ourselves on the side of one of the campus buildings, and we were instantaneously caught by one of the campus security guards. My buddy and I have a disciplinary meeting this wed. At 1pm. I was hoping you could give us some pretty good excuses and help us try to get out of this. I am already on probation from an incident last year involving small amounts of dynamite, long story, so I kinda need to get out of this. I would greatly appreciate your suggestions and fill you in on the outcome.

Sincerely,
LycoSufer

LycoSufer,

You’re fucked.

Sincerely,
Joe College

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