Ask Joe College: Calm My Mom Down


Dear Joe College,

Man I was taking this math class with that one professor that no one wants to get, and being first semester of my freshmen year I thought I could possibly get by in college with less work than I should have actually done. By and by it becomes bluntly obvious my chances of passing this class are about as likely as Micheal J. Fox’s becoming a brain surgeon. Anyways, I had to make that decision to drop a class, one I have never made before, being a freshmen and all. I had to do it though, and Im going to have to take this class again. On top of that, my family isn’t all that wealthy and I am hearing from my Mom how my dad is making her “budget like a son of a bitch”, and she is so pissed at me because I can’t “cut it up here”. In my defense the professor was absolutely ridiculous, she doesn’t drop grades, give curves, and everyone was failing. SO I dropped that ho, but how can I calm my mom down dude? Shes pissed. My life is pure paradise now though, I am taking 11 hours and 2 of those hours are for this bullshit business class, and the other 3 classes are so easy! Anyways, there’s a beerbong full of wine with my name on it, because Im a ajckass!

Thanks for your advice, dude.

Sincerely,

Damn dude my mom is pissed @ Texas A&M University

Dear Guy With The Longest Name in the History of Names,

You are certainly in a tough situation. However, you can assure your mother that you will have a very bright future as a clerk at Best Buy.

Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, “That’s gonna be one hell of a nametag.”

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