Ask Joe College: Every Facebook User

Dear Mr. Joe College,

Why is it that every Facebook user insists on writing things that they want other people such as an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend to read to illustrate how depressed, pissed off or how they are “moving on” in their statuses? Care to share any insight? Sincerely,


Dear Trey-

Holy crap – you have a real name. Well, an odd real name, but there’s no rhyme or alliteration, and that impresses me. Though you got mine wrong. It’s just Joe, or Joe College, or Mr. College if you want to be formal.

Now for your question. It sounds like you’ve been profile stalking, Mr. Trey. Mr. Lunch Trey. Mr. Cafeteria Lunch Trey. Yeah, it sounds like you’ve been profile stalking. But you couldn’t stalk if they didn’t provide you with ample stalking material. Through their Facebook profile, which is kind of pathetic. Only passive weenies who are afraid of confrontation leave messages to their exes in their profiles. Geez, move on. Mr. Lunchable over here needs some closure.

Thanks for writing. This was Joe College saying, “Mmm..Lunchables.”

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